VICTORY!!
After 6 months' wait, the Social Security Administration Payment Department has paid me what it owes me! There was no letter of explanation to inform me of this. In fact, I found out only when I logged in to my checking account online to find its current balance, and it was thousands of dollars higher than I expected. I clicked the account number and scrolled down the page, and there it was: the most avidly awaited deposit in memory. Oh, happy day!
I think this deserves a nice glass of wine!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Plus ca change, plus la meme chose
(The more things change, the more they stay the same.)
About three weeks ago I had medical concerns, Social Security concerns, and general complaints. I'd love to say that they've all been resolved, but that's not the case. There have been some changes in the details, but the three categories still exist.
"Nothing sinister," pronounced the ENT doctor, so three suspicious lesions on my face are no longer of concern although one will be treated to make sure it stays harmless. That leaves the usual concerns about cholesterol, high blood pressure, and all the typical issues of those who are firmly entrenched in Middle Age. Unfortunately, my PCP blithely orders blood draws "just to see what's going on," refusing to acknowledge that I'm what they refer to as "a hard stick" which means good luck finding a blood vessel in my arms or hands that will suffice for the task. I'm thankful that the nurses are careful, optimistic, and patient so we can usually get through the ordeal successfully. On another positive note, visits to the chiropractor are helping my back and allowing me more restful sleep. Unfortunately, some meds I'm taking are giving me vivid dreams that stay with me even after I'm awake. As someone used to say, "It's always something."
Social Security is still FUBAR. At this point they owe me over $8k and counting, and no one can figure out why the mystical place called Payment isn't paying me. I've filed enough paperwork for three people, even submitting 8 typed pages of chronology to substantiate my claim. My Congressperson's office has become involved, and a formal Request for Reconsideration has been submitted to the SSA, and still I wait. It's clear that my county case manager is not my advocate but a go-between or messenger, and the wheels of any government agency grind slowly, so in another four weeks, I may have an update.
And now for the general complaints: Why is David Letterman's Friday night show a rerun from two weeks ago? This is the night of the week when the tv volume doesn't have to be barely audible and I can stay up to watch late night shows in bed without compromising the quality of the next day's activities. You'd think they'd play the repeat shows on Mondays or Tuesdays when there's less of an audience for them, at least in this house. Give Dave Mondays off if he wants his three-day weekend.
What's with winter cucumbers? Yes, it's silly of me to use them in salads this time of year but they look so edible in the grocery store, and a tossed salad needs a few slices of cucumber to be complete. Either they're punky, they're sour or, even worse, flavorless, or, if I shell out the extra for the long seedless wonders carefully sheathed in plastic (after I quash the giggles about the similarity with condoms and carefully place one in my basket), they last long enough to be half used in one salad before the remaining half turns slimy and gooey. Perhaps my next quest should be for a small indoor greenhouse that can house ever-bearing cherry tomato and pint size cucumber plants so my winter salads somewhat resemble their summer counterparts.
Why are we coddling and enabling teenagers now more than ever? Many aren't being held accountable enough for their own actions or expected to be responsible as part of becoming a trustworthy adult, so when they continue the irresponsible behaviors and actions for which they pretend they're not accountable, they're shocked that the world outside their protective cocoons (I'll let you fill in where or what institutions those might be) doesn't agree with them. There ARE rules and there ARE laws, and son of a gun those rules and laws actually DO apply to them! Police! Court! Fines! Jail! At the age of 19 they still have the naivety of a pubescent child of 12 or 13, expecting to shift the blame or pull the wool over someone's eyes, and assuming that they'll be able to walk away clean to play more games. Why not gently but firmly and consistently hold them responsible from the onset of puberty for their actions? No long series of additional chances or exceptions will help that process. The best way to prepare for life in the world outside the cocoon is to practice living the way you need to in order to be accepted as a successful adult. (That's the goal, anyway, because even adults make mistakes, and then there are fines and jail time which take away that "successful" descriptor.) Not calling them on the lies you know they're telling about tasks done or undone or obligations neglected only encourages them to do it again, and that's not my idea of being responsible, for either the teenager or the adult trying to help the kid on the path toward adulthood. It's a real shame when an almost-adult ends up on the pages of social media or print media or on television as a result of one of those immature decisions. What a terribly public way to learn the hard stuff.
I'll save my comments about Congress and all this February snow for another time.
About three weeks ago I had medical concerns, Social Security concerns, and general complaints. I'd love to say that they've all been resolved, but that's not the case. There have been some changes in the details, but the three categories still exist.
"Nothing sinister," pronounced the ENT doctor, so three suspicious lesions on my face are no longer of concern although one will be treated to make sure it stays harmless. That leaves the usual concerns about cholesterol, high blood pressure, and all the typical issues of those who are firmly entrenched in Middle Age. Unfortunately, my PCP blithely orders blood draws "just to see what's going on," refusing to acknowledge that I'm what they refer to as "a hard stick" which means good luck finding a blood vessel in my arms or hands that will suffice for the task. I'm thankful that the nurses are careful, optimistic, and patient so we can usually get through the ordeal successfully. On another positive note, visits to the chiropractor are helping my back and allowing me more restful sleep. Unfortunately, some meds I'm taking are giving me vivid dreams that stay with me even after I'm awake. As someone used to say, "It's always something."
Social Security is still FUBAR. At this point they owe me over $8k and counting, and no one can figure out why the mystical place called Payment isn't paying me. I've filed enough paperwork for three people, even submitting 8 typed pages of chronology to substantiate my claim. My Congressperson's office has become involved, and a formal Request for Reconsideration has been submitted to the SSA, and still I wait. It's clear that my county case manager is not my advocate but a go-between or messenger, and the wheels of any government agency grind slowly, so in another four weeks, I may have an update.
And now for the general complaints: Why is David Letterman's Friday night show a rerun from two weeks ago? This is the night of the week when the tv volume doesn't have to be barely audible and I can stay up to watch late night shows in bed without compromising the quality of the next day's activities. You'd think they'd play the repeat shows on Mondays or Tuesdays when there's less of an audience for them, at least in this house. Give Dave Mondays off if he wants his three-day weekend.
What's with winter cucumbers? Yes, it's silly of me to use them in salads this time of year but they look so edible in the grocery store, and a tossed salad needs a few slices of cucumber to be complete. Either they're punky, they're sour or, even worse, flavorless, or, if I shell out the extra for the long seedless wonders carefully sheathed in plastic (after I quash the giggles about the similarity with condoms and carefully place one in my basket), they last long enough to be half used in one salad before the remaining half turns slimy and gooey. Perhaps my next quest should be for a small indoor greenhouse that can house ever-bearing cherry tomato and pint size cucumber plants so my winter salads somewhat resemble their summer counterparts.
Why are we coddling and enabling teenagers now more than ever? Many aren't being held accountable enough for their own actions or expected to be responsible as part of becoming a trustworthy adult, so when they continue the irresponsible behaviors and actions for which they pretend they're not accountable, they're shocked that the world outside their protective cocoons (I'll let you fill in where or what institutions those might be) doesn't agree with them. There ARE rules and there ARE laws, and son of a gun those rules and laws actually DO apply to them! Police! Court! Fines! Jail! At the age of 19 they still have the naivety of a pubescent child of 12 or 13, expecting to shift the blame or pull the wool over someone's eyes, and assuming that they'll be able to walk away clean to play more games. Why not gently but firmly and consistently hold them responsible from the onset of puberty for their actions? No long series of additional chances or exceptions will help that process. The best way to prepare for life in the world outside the cocoon is to practice living the way you need to in order to be accepted as a successful adult. (That's the goal, anyway, because even adults make mistakes, and then there are fines and jail time which take away that "successful" descriptor.) Not calling them on the lies you know they're telling about tasks done or undone or obligations neglected only encourages them to do it again, and that's not my idea of being responsible, for either the teenager or the adult trying to help the kid on the path toward adulthood. It's a real shame when an almost-adult ends up on the pages of social media or print media or on television as a result of one of those immature decisions. What a terribly public way to learn the hard stuff.
I'll save my comments about Congress and all this February snow for another time.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Grumblings...
About halfway through my first year of retirement from teaching, I'm unexpectedly feeling discouraged by my life. People in the past have quipped, "Sucks, getting old!" and I chuckled as I nodded in agreement, but suddenly that message has taken on a more genuineness for me.
For years I've expressed the belief in balance, that things balance out in the long run, and I still believe that concept to be true. Lately, as soon as something uplifting or happy presents itself to my life, another something appears almost immediately to take away the sweet taste I'd been granted. And I'm not happy that this is happening.
Take retirement income: Social Security and NH Teacher Retirement, both of which I've contributed to for the duration of my 40 year career. Other than the $97 glitch made by the Feds providing the wrong chart to NH Retirement to determine January's pay, that benefit has been a flawless and easy process, and I've been paid on time each month. Social Security? Not so much. Since August 2012 I've received two paychecks from them, even though I officially retired on June 30, 2012 and requested that my SS benefits begin for the month of July. I have a folder more than an inch thick with bank statements, letters of verification, notes, and letters from SSA that continue to mistake my actual situation and that continue to deny me 4 7/8 months of benefits that are legally due to me.
Another issue is this aging body. Teeth, skin, blood pressure, spine.... the list is long of parts that are becoming difficult and needing special (aka time consuming and expen$ive) attention. I have to admit that I probably should have been taking better care of myself, even though I'm no boozer, druggie, or real abuser of food. Sure, I've eaten what I wanted, when I wanted, for most of my life, but now my aging metabolism giggles every time I stuff a chocolate covered cherry or an extra piece of pepperoni pizza into my mouth, and I'm finding that I'm wearing the consequences and carrying them around with me 24/7. Some of the current problems are linked together, so if I were to get up off my lardbutt regularly and be more physically active, I could cross an item or two off the long list, so I accept some of the responsibility. The rest.... well, I feel as though I don't really deserve it.
Being away from the workplace has opened my eyes a little wider than I thought would happen with retirement. I have a different perspective. I can see what I did and didn't do more clearly. Decisions and plans made by others for specious reasons seem even more like folly. People who expressed and lived friendship while I was there now apparently need my physical presence to remind them that I am.... or was... part of their lives. The fallacy of open and constant communication between schools and community is painfully noticeable.
Which leads me to the reason why all of the above has become so much more prominent: without the need of my brain to focus on the many and constant aspects of my job, it now has time to be aware of, register, ponder, and worry about each and every one of those aforementioned topics. Now I have time to make appointments unhindered by the 8 hour blocks of time spent at work five days a week. Now I have alone time to think about me, to look in the mirror, to notice the aches and the flaws that have probably been there for a while or even all along, but they'd been low on the priority list during my working years. There's no one here to bounce ideas off of, to interrupt a train of thought or offer mitigating or encouraging comments. I notice the people who do make an effort to stay in touch with me, face to face, through email or Facebook, versus those who expressed friendship in the past but who are surprised to see me out in public. (Once in a while, at seeing their reactions, I wonder if they thought I'd died when I disappeared from their daily view, even though logic, and their presence at my retirement events prove otherwise.) This virtual step back from the previous part of my life has given me the space to see and understand it and my current life with a greater degree of impartiality than I'd had when I was employed and among my peers on a daily basis.
The temptation is to withdraw further, not just to see who seeks me but to back away from the disappointments and the situations in which I was formerly essential but now am not. The other option is to throw myself with more vigor into what I love, what makes me happy, what's important to me. To do that, I need to acknowledge what those things are, and then embrace them with more vigor and determination. My excuse for not taking the second option has been the season. Winter, for me, is not a welcoming time of year: it takes more energy to dress for the weather, the daylight is shorter and paler than in warmer seasons, and I don't like being cold. They're all silly obstacles, but they're there. Or they have been. With the length of daylight increasing, and having vented about some of the irritants here, I think I'm more ready to cope with the days ahead in a more positive frame of mind. Yes, the government, my physical self, and other issues are giving me problems, but if I keep pecking away at them persistently, I can claim more control over them, experience some successes, and feel a bit more in charge. That's my goal.
For years I've expressed the belief in balance, that things balance out in the long run, and I still believe that concept to be true. Lately, as soon as something uplifting or happy presents itself to my life, another something appears almost immediately to take away the sweet taste I'd been granted. And I'm not happy that this is happening.
Take retirement income: Social Security and NH Teacher Retirement, both of which I've contributed to for the duration of my 40 year career. Other than the $97 glitch made by the Feds providing the wrong chart to NH Retirement to determine January's pay, that benefit has been a flawless and easy process, and I've been paid on time each month. Social Security? Not so much. Since August 2012 I've received two paychecks from them, even though I officially retired on June 30, 2012 and requested that my SS benefits begin for the month of July. I have a folder more than an inch thick with bank statements, letters of verification, notes, and letters from SSA that continue to mistake my actual situation and that continue to deny me 4 7/8 months of benefits that are legally due to me.
Another issue is this aging body. Teeth, skin, blood pressure, spine.... the list is long of parts that are becoming difficult and needing special (aka time consuming and expen$ive) attention. I have to admit that I probably should have been taking better care of myself, even though I'm no boozer, druggie, or real abuser of food. Sure, I've eaten what I wanted, when I wanted, for most of my life, but now my aging metabolism giggles every time I stuff a chocolate covered cherry or an extra piece of pepperoni pizza into my mouth, and I'm finding that I'm wearing the consequences and carrying them around with me 24/7. Some of the current problems are linked together, so if I were to get up off my lardbutt regularly and be more physically active, I could cross an item or two off the long list, so I accept some of the responsibility. The rest.... well, I feel as though I don't really deserve it.
Being away from the workplace has opened my eyes a little wider than I thought would happen with retirement. I have a different perspective. I can see what I did and didn't do more clearly. Decisions and plans made by others for specious reasons seem even more like folly. People who expressed and lived friendship while I was there now apparently need my physical presence to remind them that I am.... or was... part of their lives. The fallacy of open and constant communication between schools and community is painfully noticeable.
Which leads me to the reason why all of the above has become so much more prominent: without the need of my brain to focus on the many and constant aspects of my job, it now has time to be aware of, register, ponder, and worry about each and every one of those aforementioned topics. Now I have time to make appointments unhindered by the 8 hour blocks of time spent at work five days a week. Now I have alone time to think about me, to look in the mirror, to notice the aches and the flaws that have probably been there for a while or even all along, but they'd been low on the priority list during my working years. There's no one here to bounce ideas off of, to interrupt a train of thought or offer mitigating or encouraging comments. I notice the people who do make an effort to stay in touch with me, face to face, through email or Facebook, versus those who expressed friendship in the past but who are surprised to see me out in public. (Once in a while, at seeing their reactions, I wonder if they thought I'd died when I disappeared from their daily view, even though logic, and their presence at my retirement events prove otherwise.) This virtual step back from the previous part of my life has given me the space to see and understand it and my current life with a greater degree of impartiality than I'd had when I was employed and among my peers on a daily basis.
The temptation is to withdraw further, not just to see who seeks me but to back away from the disappointments and the situations in which I was formerly essential but now am not. The other option is to throw myself with more vigor into what I love, what makes me happy, what's important to me. To do that, I need to acknowledge what those things are, and then embrace them with more vigor and determination. My excuse for not taking the second option has been the season. Winter, for me, is not a welcoming time of year: it takes more energy to dress for the weather, the daylight is shorter and paler than in warmer seasons, and I don't like being cold. They're all silly obstacles, but they're there. Or they have been. With the length of daylight increasing, and having vented about some of the irritants here, I think I'm more ready to cope with the days ahead in a more positive frame of mind. Yes, the government, my physical self, and other issues are giving me problems, but if I keep pecking away at them persistently, I can claim more control over them, experience some successes, and feel a bit more in charge. That's my goal.
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