Helpless

I'm glad that I don't have to grow up again. There seems to be less patience in the world than there was back when life was a bit slower. No microwave ovens, no cellphones or even touchpad phones, no calculators, no transistor radios or color televisions capable of drawing in signals from over 200 channels, no computers, no souped up cars or superhighways, no instant photography or information saving devices, no scanners of any type, no email or internet... how did we get along with all these conveniences that make our life faster? We cooked on the stovetop and in the oven, cranked or turned the telephone dial and waited for the operator, and had to do it at home or from a public pay phone. We used paper and pencil, perhaps a sliderule, our fingers and toes, and our own brains to do the math. We listened to crackly AM stations for news and music on the one radio in the kitchen. The one television that we were lucky to have weighed more than my father, had a viewing screen the size of a dinner plate, and took five or six minutes to warm up its tubes before we could watch the only two channels it could receive during a 16 hour time slot each day. The library or our own set of encyclopedias, or even someone older and wiser were the sources of information for our research. Perhaps we read the daily paper if we were well enough off to afford that luxury, or we listened to the evening news. Cars were big, heavy, and safe but they moved slowly along the surface roads and occasionally the state highways, and it took a while to get anywhere. Rolls of film, mostly black and white, were sent away through the drug store to be developed and printed, and we'd anxiously wait the week or so that the process took to see our priceless photographs, carefully putting them into albums and preserving the negatives in case we wanted more prints. Information we saved on paper or in our heads. We knew what the police were doing when someone overheard a conversation or was there and passed along the news by word of mouth or, if the story were big enough, by phone call or radio. Store clerks had to go look at lists to discover prices if they didn't know them. Baggage carried hand-written tags. We hand wrote cards, letters, thank you notes, applications and requests, addressed the envelopes, licked and applied the stamps, trusted them to the post office, and waited days for the messages to get to their destinations.

This isn't a complaint but more of an observation about the path that life in our society has traveled in the past 50 or 60 years. I'm glad to be part of a generation that's lived in both worlds, the slower and more deliberate, and the faster and more convenient. Still, there are some dilemmas that remain.

One such dilemma is how someone can determine the line between being a tattletale and getting into trouble for standing up to a bully. Adults have to make those decisions, but their life experience and savvy usually help them to decide the best plan of action at the time. Kids, on the other hand, usually have a tougher time.

Take the case of the kid who likes to taunt and belittle others, also called using verbal abuse. It can make my hands itch to slap the perpetrator, but then that person is so damaged already with his need to diminish and torture people more vulnerable than he that it's certainly not going to do any good, so I refrain. But I'm the adult. What about the victim? Or the victim's friend? What are their choices? "Turn the other cheek" works only for a while because the bully often raises the ante with more vicious words or by physical approach, but rarely crossing the line with touch. Telling an adult brands the victim as a tattletale, adding to his already perceived weakness. Telling the bully to stop only works in the opposite, urging him on because, clearly, his goal is being reached, and he wants more fulfillment. Friends stepping in can be of help in going to an adult as a group or just being physically present to display a larger support which can disable the bully at least temporarily, but he'll usually come back. However, sometimes a single friend's actions can simply inflame the perpetrator, and if the friend feels strongly enough to address the bully himself, verbally or even physically with a hand, a shove, or something more, then the waters become terribly muddy. Then it can become two against one, in the bully's version, and of course the two will testify against the one. How can the full and accurate view of the situation be made clear? Often, it can't.

I have no answers for this problem. I saw it happen as a child, and I still see it happening among children of high school age or even older. I will say that part of kidlife is to do and learn things on your own, hiding some of the activities and knowledge from your parents as you separate from them, but there are some things that kids need to share with adults because kids aren't yet ready to cope with them all. How to determine what to share and when? That's a tough thing to teach, and at times I feel quite helpless about knowing how to do it.

News

This post comes to you from my new laptop. My tiny silver PowerBook (I call her Sweetie) has been a real workhorse for me for the past five years or so, and lately she's begun making nasty growling noises when I move her when she's running. That's a sign I heed. I've lost a few computers in the heat of summer or when the hard drive just went bad, but the last two deaths have been preceded by odd noises. Before Sweetie makes the trip to the happy place in cyberspace, I decided to add yet another Mac to my collection to take some of the burden off her.

Let me introduce you to my MacBook Pro. I haven't named it yet because I haven't had it long enough to feel its personality, but I suspect that'll happen soon as I have time to use it. This is the 15.4" version with a screen large enough to keep me from squinting at the images on it. The keyboard is backlit, a huge improvement for use in low light conditions. The power cord feels sturdier than the one that came with Sweetie who's gone through two of them in her lifetime, so I'm optimistic that this one will last a little longer. I love the way the oversized trackpad works, too: one finger works with the typical taps, two fingers dragged work like the nub or wheel in a mouse. It's also in one piece with no separation between tap and click areas. Two 1x4" speaker grills (with minuscule holes) sit on the outer edges of the keyboard and the speakers provide plenty of clear, loud audio. Can you tell I'm liking this machine?

Of course the downside is the price tag. Because I teach, there's a small Education Discount. Because it's a laptop, I opted for the extended care plan. Because I like the features of Microsoft Office apps, and I want to use the computer to connect to an LCD projector, the software and the adapter were part of the deal. But I'm willing to pay the cost for a fast, reliable, stable machine that always does what it's supposed to do. The hp laptops we're required to use at work don't come close to any Mac I've ever owned. I'm very happy with my purchase.

end and beginning

The sports teams that I support are shifting as of tonight: the Red Sox lost the American League Division Series today in three straight games, the Patriots won their game against Denver this afternoon, and KG is back, showing his strength in pre-season games. I watch the games with interest, but I don't have the same avid attention and passion for the games as the guy who sits in that recliner in the living room. He'll gladly turn his yelling at the television from umpires to referees and not miss a beat. "Plus ca change, plus la meme chose," is the way the French express it: The more things change, the more they remain the same.

I've been spending time on Facebook lately which is why I've neglected this spot. I'm going to try to balance my online time better, so posts here should resume with more regularity. The good thing is that there's nothing of earthshattering importance that I haven't posted here. Mother is doing well in her assisted living apartment, Sis3 has put weight back on and has begun to work part time. The other siblings and relatives are well, and so far my husband and I have had a few cold symptoms, but the flu has avoided us. Waldo is slowly behaving better and better, although we continue to find things that make him crazy or that scare him. We are adjusting to each other pretty well. Our Jotul wood stove has proven itself to be more than competent at heating the house (yes, we've needed a fire in the stove several times already) so we feel it was a good purchase. The other purchase that's being made is a new MacBook Pro for me. My little titanium PowerBook is making funny noises, and I don't want to be without a working Mac laptop, so the new one is on its way to me. Other than these things, and some new concerns at school that are slowly being worked out, life goes on much the same as it has.

This four-day weekend is a boost for me, giving me time to unwind and catch up on a few things while also taking a trip to Salem MA to see witch territory and attending a craft fair and apple festival in a nearby town. Thank you, Christopher Columbus!