No pre-Monday Blues

I love the feeling on the first Sunday of a vacation week when it seems like Saturday and I have no thoughts about work. Usually about this time on a Sunday I'm feeling some tension and trying to keep the work obligations at bay, and an hour or two from now the pre-Monday Blues would be in full control, making me crabby and frowny. I'm not a pleasant person at that point. Vacation euphoria, even when we aren't traveling anywhere, cancels out that mood so I can be my relatively pleasant and unpressured self for a few days. Woo hoo!! (<= a sentiment I'm sure my spouse feels too!)

Not long ago I was involved in a conversation with some high school students who were voicing the same question I've heard for years: how can anyone stand to be in a long-term relationship without being bored to tears? I can see the puzzlement and pity on their faces when they realize that my husband and I have not only taught forever, but that we've also been married even longer. They must think that we're both daft to have stayed together this long. I think the issue has several parts to it, one being the speed with which they live their lives, and another being the high percentage of marriages in our culture that end in divorce. Teenagers don't truly understand longevity because their lives haven't been long enough to let them live it, in most cases. Some of them understand the concept because their family has lived in the same house all their lives, or they have frequent and direct contact with people who are much older and who have stable lives. Most of them, at least in this community, don't. Divorce rates around here mirror national averages, and the death of a parent happens now and then too, so those factors are typical. Because my husband and I work in the same business and even in the same building, many of the kids know both of us, but because we're at work, the behaviors they see aren't typical of a husband and wife at home. Within some bounds, I'll talk with the kids who are seriously contemplating this issue about the fact that a marriage and a home life are not necessarily static but quite dynamic as time passes. I don't usually get into the details about how love changes over time because that's more than they need to know, but I'll talk about how finances, tastes, running a household, portioning out chores, the needs for space, or relationships in general can change, and how I've/we've rolled with the changes. I know that what they're hearing, in many cases, doesn't reflect what they see in their own homes, so it's a crap shoot whether what I tell them makes them feel better or worse in the short run, but my intent is to give them another perspective from people they know and have seen functioning pretty well during their high school years.

One of the changes that took me by surprise not long ago is some of my husband's preferences in foods. He used to prefer large hunks of pasta (medium sized shells, ziti, etc.) and fairly plain meat and potatoes. He's always loved a refrigerator full of leftovers, and he enjoys eating the same dish or the same meal over and over, day after day. About two months ago, he began voicing some variations in his requests. Could we have something other than turkey for Christmas dinner because (surprise!) he doesn't really like turkey that much? Hmmm, sure, we'll have a nice hot buffet with ham and Italian meatballs as the centerpieces, no problem. Can I not make so many dishes with plain meat, especially pork and chicken, in them? This wasn't as much of a surprise when I looked back at the fact that he typically requested leftover plain meats to be cut up and served in some kind of sauce or gravy that he could then pour over his mashed potatoes. Since then I've made sure there was a way, with sauce, to serve the meat and use up any leftovers too. Could I please use smaller pieces of pasta in dishes that include pasta? Wow, this was new. He raved about the tuna casserole made with small elbow macaroni, and he was delighted with the American chop suey made with tiny seashell pasta, even though the only difference was the size of the pasta. That's fine with me: I've never liked large pasta. Now I have to figure out how to make turkey, one of my favorite meals, more appealing to him. With gravy (and LOTS of stuffing), in a casserole, in a thick soup or stew.... any other suggestions?