Flipping the switch

Sometimes I wish people had switches that could be flipped to make them behave the way I want them to. For example:

*click*
"Oh, now I get what you mean: the ending of this paper says nothing, and I need to crystalize my point there. I know just what to do!"

*click*
"Wow, I've been kind of a jerk, and I really need to apologize for that. How can I make it up to you? No, let me think about it. I'll figure out something that'll make you smile."

*click*
"Wait. Why do other people need to change to be the way I want them to be? They deserve to be themselves, and I need to accept and embrace them for who they are. Yeah!"

Either people do have switches that are so terribly well hidden that only they can find them and my wish is foolish, or this is a dream, a fantasy, a figment of my imagination, and then my wish is still foolish. Hmmmmmm... Where did this glowing bulb over my head come from?